写作。简洁才是美（转）

tianxinapple

好的写作，首先而且至关重要的一点就是简洁。繁冗的写作堆砌了许多无用的词藻，反而减弱表述的清晰度。当然，也不能仅仅因为简短就认为短句一定优于长句。只要一个单词确实能起到一定的作用，它就应该留在句中。一般来说，只有在进行强调或修饰、美化句子时，才能使用重复的单词、语音和短语。修改文章，就是要删繁就简。比较下面这对句子，注意体会二者的差别及效果。

1) Dr. Sun Yat-sen went to Japan by means of a big boat.
2) Dr. Sun Yat-sen went to Japan by boat.

斜体字部分较啰嗦，因为"by"就是"by means of boat"。

请看下列例句

Wordy: It makes me feel painful to think that she has to work 12 hours a day and seven days a week.
Better: It pains me to think that she has to work 12 hours a day and seven days a week.

Wordy: It will be our aim to ensure proper health care for each and every one of the Chinese people.
Better: Our aim is to ensure proper health care for all Chinese.

Wordy: This book will help you master the basic elements of good writing.
Better: This book will help you master the basics of good writing.

Wordy: The search of the forest that they conducted was entirely complete.
Better: The search of the forest was complete.
或They conducted a complete search of the forest.
第二个句子合乎汉语表达习惯，即他们对森林进行了彻底的搜查。

Wordy: He has no sense of principles, whether he is in public or in private.
Better: He has no principles, public or private.

Wordy: Whenever anyone telephoned her to ask her for help with their homework she always obliged right away.
Better: She immediately obliged anyone who telephoned for help with homework.

Wordy: In a cautious manner the car went around the corner.
Better: The car negotiated the corner.

Wordy: If the government agency finds that an individual has received a payment to which the individual was not entitled, whether or not the payment was due to the individual's fault or misrepresentation, the individual shall be liable to repay to the government the total sum of the payment to which the individual was not entitled.
Better: If the government agency finds that you received a payment that you weren't entitled to, you must pay the entire sum back.

Wordy: Another important aspect is good health. It is one of our great blessings. It may be achieved through proper diet and exercise. Rest is also desirable.
Better: The great blessing of good health may be had through proper diet, exercise, and rest.